Something boils within me; temperature rises rapidly. Tell-tale signs of an eruption. Pressure builds up minute by minute. If I do not do something I will surely erupt. By erupting I mean; I have to punch a wall, break something or yell at someone in order to cool off. If I do not do that…
I recently looked up the symptoms of aggressive anger and it is no surprise that I once displayed almost all of them.
First of them is bullying. Throughout elementary school I used to pick on people whom I deemed weaker (not physically, since I was and still am frail). My words were my weapons and need I say they were lethal? I underestimated the power of words; I did not know they had the power to drain life out of people. To be blunt with myself, I was a gross murderer.
Second symptom is destructiveness. I can tell you for sure that I have broken so many cups and plates. There was a time I broke an entire set of very expensive imported dishes. Moreover, my frailty did not stop me from punching and slapping some people.
I was not even aware that grandiosity was another symptom. I was an unpleasant braggart and a sore loser; meaning that I never conceded. Some of my childhood friends tell me they always let me win in games. They preferred baring the shame of defeat to my spatting.
Finally there is unpredictability. I was the kind of person whose moods oscillated at supersonic speed. Here I am laughing hysterically then the next second I am hurling insults. No wonder I had very few friends, no wonder few people dared talk to me.
I only mentioned four symptoms because if I went on, I would seem like a morally bankrupt person or a classic Mr Hyde. (Of the book Dr Jekyll and My Hyde by Robert Louis Stevenson. A character; Dr Jekyll separated himself into two people. He put all the bad qualities in the second person; Mr Hyde)
I lived such a terrible life but one thing for sure is that God changes people. He changed me. If you have anger issues go to Him and He will help you deal with them. Remember, anger is an emotion that everyone experiences. Secondly, not everybody expresses aggressive anger, others express passive anger and it is paramount to know how to deal with anger in whatever form that it comes in.
So how do we deal with anger? According to http://www.traciemiles.com:
- Before letting anger erupt, we should remember that God deals with us through trials